The One Thing Every Cancer Patient Needs During Chemotherapy

Difficult. Right. Calling chemotherapy “difficult” is a ridiculous understatement.

(Don’t worry; there will be many future posts where I rant/go into details about this very topic).

Enduring Chemotherapy for months or years is one of the most challenging experiences a person can have.

Even in the BEST possible scenario, your chemo treatment lasts about 4 months, you have a countless number of doctor’s appointments, the minimal side effects you face (mild discomfort, nausea, body aches, hair loss etc…) are ongoing, and then just one last small detail:

YOU DIE IF THE CHEMO DOESN’T WORK/OR STOPS WORKING.

No big deal.

Even this best-case scenario seems to be pushing that “difficult” definition. And cancer and chemotherapy is rarely that simple. So we can just throw that pathetic attempt of a description out the window right now. (I will confront certain…. confused… medical professionals who describe chemotherapy as “difficult” at a later date)

Personally, I was closer to the WORST case scenario chemotherapy situation.

My two-and-a-half years of chemotherapy awarded me with all of the worst potential side effects (plus a few new ones, just for shits and giggles) and nearly killed me in the process. I assumed I would die from the cancer or the chemo, it was just a matter of taking bets on which one would break me first.

The only thing that prevented me from actually winning a “worse-case-scenario” chemotherapy medal was that my treatment was effective against my leukemia. As abhorrent as it was in every other regard, my chemo did the job it was supposed to do. Other cancer patients are not always as fortunate.

Chemotherapy inevitably leads to long-lasting, immense physical and emotional strains on the human body. For this reason, it is important to do what you can to alleviate that stress as much as possible. 

There are various ways to accomplish this, but today, I want to share the number one most important thing for all cancer patients:

These people can comfort you when your emotions are overwhelming, they can support you when you are too weak to stand (figuratively and literally), and encourage you when you feel hopeless.

These people can make you smile, give you reasons to laugh, and bring you joy.

And most importantly, the people who love and care about you can motivate and incentivize you to keep going when you want to give up.

I know better than most that there are some things in life people cannot do alone. There are challenges that people cannot defeat without help.

During my chemo treatment, I lost everything. This is not an exaggeration. This is not me saying that I was suffering so much that it felt like I lost everything good.

I actually lost everything. 

When I began my chemotherapy, I went into a coma and almost died. I woke up, but everything had changed. I was in a near-unbearable amount of pain, even on narcotics. It hurt to move, be touched, or breathe. It hurt to exist. I was too weak to even sit up on my own. I could barely even speak. My hands and feet were completely numb due to neuropathy, so I couldn’t hold anything. To couple the pain, it felt like I had some amplified version of the flu. My immune system was so compromised that I could only be around my family and medical caretakers. Sleep wasn’t even a reprieve because drug-induced nightmares prompted me to wake up crying in terror every night.

(You can read the full story here, but be warned, it is not easy or very encouraging to read)

But I didn’t just lose my health.

I lost my ability to do every single thing that I loved. There was no more playing soccer or being active. There was no reading, taking pictures with my camera, singing, or reading. Going out into the germ-infused public was not on the table. Having people visit me was rarely an option, and even when it was, I was in too much pain and had too little energy to take advantage.

To top it off, my father walked out on me as soon as I got sick. The majority of my other friends also walked away.

This is what the entire first year of my chemo treatment looked like. My life was pain, immobility, doctors, hospitals, trauma, loss, and expecting to die, and loss of every kind.

I lost everything.

Except….

The people who truly cared about me; the people who loved me. The people who were willing to sacrifice everything and stay with me through hell: the rest of my family.

My mom, brother, sister, grandparents, and aunt were all right there. They were all I had. While my mom took on the brunt of everything, they all worked to take care of me day and night and kept me from feeling alone.

I would not be here today if it weren’t for my family. They not only helped keep me alive outside of hospitals, they convinced me to live for them in the times when I couldn’t keep fighting for myself.

And they are what got me through.

When you are surviving chemotherapy, it can be tempting to push other people away (which I will discuss in great detail in the future). But that only hurts you. That only isolates you in your suffering and gives you one less “good thing” to hold on to as you try to survive chemotherapy.

Even if your health fails you, and the road ahead appears bleak, hopeless, and impossible, the people who truly care about you will not leave. No matter how hard it gets, they will be there, right there with you, until the end. That’s love.

Identify these people. Keep them close. Let them be there for you. Do everything in your power to build and maintain this vital “loved-ones” support system.

And for those of you who do not have anyone like this. For those of you who feel completely alone in their fight against cancer….

You are the biggest reason I created Complicated Cancer in the first place. No one with cancer should ever have to fight their battle alone and not have any support.

You are not alone. No one here, reading this now, is truly alone.

So wherever you are in your chemotherapy journey, regardless of where you are on the scale of “worst-case-scenario” to “best-case-scenario”, surround yourself with the people you love.

That is hands down the best thing you can do for yourself if you are battling cancer. 

And it is only the first step. More to come!